Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Title Question

I found out two days ago that my third baby, due Jan. 2, will be a third boy.  Naturally, what I most care about is that the baby is healthy.  I adore the two boys I have (Gabriel, 3, and Luke, 1) and I'm sure I will love this one just as much.

However, the silly picture I had in my mind of the "perfect" family for us was always 2 boys and 2 girls.  That silly picture also showed a larger age difference between child #2 and child #3, so clearly I'm not doing such a great job of painting that picture into reality.  Having these three all so close together is making us question whether we'll still go for a fourth, so there is a chance I will never have a daughter.  I am now facing the very real possibility of living the rest of my life as the only source of estrogen in a house full of testosterone.  We are SO getting a female dog!!!

Lest you think I started this blog to whine about how cruel the world is and how empty my life will be without dresses and tiaras and glitter and pink fluffy tutus, allow me to clear the air right now:  I HATE PINK!  (I have been known to wear glitter on occasion though....)  I am not mourning the "loss" of what I might never have.  I'm merely navigating the realities of a life I hadn't imagined and for which I am thoroughly unprepared.  

I must confess:  I'm a tiny bit scared.  I'm not scared of boys or the things that they do.  I'm not even scared of how smelly they get as they get older, though I am planning to buy scented candles and car air fresheners in bulk.  I'm just scared that they will "be the death of me," in some vague, unforeseen way.  

What I am hoping is that they will not be the death of me, but rather the LIFE of me and my husband and everyone whose lives we touch.  And I hope even more that they will provide me with plenty of funny and touching stories that I can share with you....whoever you are. 

I don't know why God chose me to be the Mom to three boys, but I'm looking forward to the adventure as I try to figure it all out!